An old friend has stopped talking to me and I am now feeling bereft

An old friend has stopped talking to me and I am now feeling bereft

11/05/2021

DEAR DEIDRE:AN old friend has stopped talking to me and I am now feeling bereft.

We fell out over a silly misunderstanding. She had wanted to come round and I suggested another day, because my house was a mess and I was feeling under the weather.


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She took umbrage and has stopped taking my calls or replying to my messages. I am 63 and she is 62. We have been friends for 40 years and I miss her, even though she has let me down many times.

I was her support when she had breast cancer and lost her husband.

She wasn’t there for me when my dad died.

Looking back, she has always belittled me and spoken over me, making me feel like she was the pretty, clever one, and I was lucky to be her friend.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s not just immature, he “deals” with issues by drinking and running away. Please contact Drinkline, a free, confidential helpline (0300 123 1110).

Your friendship lasted longer than most marriages so it is natural that you are grieving for it, even if it was far from perfect. 

Try to keep busy and meet new people. Have a look at meetup.com for details on local social groups.

Perhaps she will realise what a good friend she’s lost. But if she comes back, try not to let her put you down again.

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