‘Foul ex keeps groping my bum – he’s fuming I won’t go to sleazy hotel with him’09/26/2023
How do I stop my ex-boyfriend demanding sex?
He still thinks he’s entitled to bunk-ups and calls me a “spoilsport” for pushing him away. He can’t understand how it was OK to touch my breasts and bum back in the day but not now.
I’m single and so is he, but he can’t get it into his thick skull that he doesn’t own me. Yes, we enjoyed some good times, but I’m different now.
READ MORE: 'My fella bonked my boss — he stank of her after they spent six hours humping in hotel'
You can check out more relationship and sex advice from Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman here.
The problem is that I don’t fancy him any more. I’ve moved on. We were an item for five years from the age of 19. We had some crazy times and were popular with a huge crowd of mates.
We split when his old job took him abroad. Since then, I’ve dated a variety of blokes. Today, my ideal guy is wealthy, well-read and sophisticated – and that’s not him.
He’s still as foul-mouthed, loud and outrageous as he ever was. I’m seeing a lot of him because the garage he runs is next to my new job. I pass him all the time and he never fails to flirt.
He’s actually suggested that I should be grateful that he’s still keen because I’m “not getting any younger”. Cheek. The other night he turned up at the local pub and got really miffed when I refused to go to a sleazy hotel with him.
He was showing off in front of my colleagues and telling lewd stories about our past. I was mortified. He kept grabbing my arm and saying: “You know I’m the best you ever had.”
Now he’s texting and suggesting a romantic weekend away. He won’t give up and I’m just about to blow my top. How do I get him to back off?
JANE SAYS: Your ex needs to hear that you are not his possession or his plaything.
So you and he dated once upon a time? So what? Most of us have ex-partners but that doesn’t mean they retain some kind of eternal hold over us.
Nothing gives him the right to push you around or embarrass you. Respect and space should come into play. Get tough and tell him to back off. Warn him that you will take this further if he doesn’t start to behave himself. He’s in danger of souring your memories.
If he’s lonely and in need of love, he needs to start casting his net wider and get himself out there. Just because you are local doesn’t mean that you’re the answer to his prayers.
The truth is that it’s never a good idea to go backwards, as people and places are rarely as good as we remember them. You’ve grown up and moved on and your life experiences have changed you.
It’s not your job to make him happy. Arrange a heart-to-heart and leave him in
no doubt regarding your feelings. He has to hear that you are serious and that this is not a game.
Nothing will stop you from reporting him if he makes a nuisance of himself. Does he want that?
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