I am so tense in the bedroom since my back op that sex with new guy is disaster

I am so tense in the bedroom since my back op that sex with new guy is disaster

11/21/2021

DEAR DEIDRE: SEX with my new guy is a disaster because I tense up when it matters.

I’m a woman of 39 and my boyfriend is 41.


For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

  • Dear Deidre on Mental Health
  • Dear Deidre on Identity  
  • Dear Deidre on Debt and Money 
  • Dear Deidre on Work
  • Dear Deidre on Health and Wellbeing 
  • Dear Deidre on Addiction

I had a back op a few months ago and when it came to having sex for the first time after that, I was so nervous.

Now I am wondering if this has affected me down below.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

My boyfriend has been great and says it doesn’t matter and we can try again in a while but I am worried this will happen again.

It feels as though my vagina has a blockage, which has never happened before.

I am starting to feel scared about having sex at all now.

DEIDRE SAYS: You might be right that anxiety after your operation has triggered a condition called vaginismus – when the muscles tense up and make sex near-impossible.

There are self-help techniques which can help but be sure to spend enough time on foreplay so you feel aroused and the muscles there have a better chance of relaxing.

My support pack Self-Help For Painful Sex explains.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I'm back with ex who broke us off but I'm in love with colleague who consoled me

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Isla is down as Ben won't last but neighbours are at it every night

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us

    Source: Read Full Article