It took me years to come out – so how do I tell people that I'm actually gay? | The Sun

It took me years to come out – so how do I tell people that I'm actually gay? | The Sun

07/14/2022

DEAR DEIDRE: IT took five years for me to come out to my family as bisexual . . . so how do I tell them that I think I might actually be gay?

I’m 24.

My family are closed-minded people. They refuse to accept anyone who doesn’t fit perfectly into some sort of box.

This, and the fact they’re devoutly religious, meant I was terrified of telling them the truth about my sexuality.

There was a big chance that they’d disown me.

But when I was 19, I finally told my mum and dad that I’m bisexual.

They acknowledged what I said, asked me not to tell anyone else in the family and then changed the subject.

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It’s hard having to keep quiet about a huge part of my life, particularly as I’ve started to question if I’m actually gay instead.

So I’m asking two things really – do I tell them? And how?

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry your family isn’t more supportive.

While they have acknowledged you coming out as bisexual, they have limited you by asking you to keep this a secret from the rest of your family.

It will feel upsetting to be told a huge part of your identity is not acceptable to them.

Perhaps it would be better to encourage them to see that you will always be their son who they love – no matter what your sexuality.

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Please contact Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (www.fflag.org.uk, 0845 652 0311).

They will be able to help you and your parents understand the challenges.

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