My boyfriend watches my every move and has total control over my life

My boyfriend watches my every move and has total control over my life

04/29/2021

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM stuck in an abusive relationship and can’t see any way out.

When we started dating five years ago, my boyfriend seemed like such a lovely guy. He’s 42 and I’m 44.


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But within months he was snooping on my phone and monitoring my bank account.

Things only got worse as time went on.

Now I’m not allowed to work, have to be accompanied when leaving the house and I couldn’t tell you where my bank cards or passport are.

He has never hit me, so for a long time I wondered if what he was doing even counted as abuse. But I now realise this stuff isn’t normal.

I know he had a terrible childhood, so I’ve tried to help him.

But it’s got so bad I’ve considered ending my life to get away from him.

DEIDRE SAYS: This is coercive control, which absolutely is abuse.

Your partner might have been abused or neglected as a child, but he must not continue to control you in this way.

Contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (nationaldahelpline.org.uk, 0808 2000 247), which will help you leave safely.

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