Kristen Bell's Most Honest Quotes on Motherhood, Marriage and Mental Health

ON TEACHING THEIR KIDS TO APOLOGIZE 

“We’ll come home, we’ll be tense with each other, we’ll snap at each other in the kitchen — not realizing they’re witnessing it — we put them to bed, we go into the bedroom, and just privately, we’ll say, ‘God, I’m sorry I snapped at you, I’ve had a really tough day.’

“So [Dax] said, let’s make a deal that whenever we make up behind closed doors, that we role play the next morning.

“Every time we’re testy with each other, the next morning I’ll say, ‘Good morning, Daddy — I just wanted to say, last night, I had a really long day and I’m sorry that I snapped at you about, you know, not having the dinner that you wanted.’ And he would say, ‘Yeah, Mommy, you’re right, I had a hard day too, and I’m really sorry.’ And then we physically kiss and hug.”

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ON TAKING A THOUGHTFUL PARENTING APPROACH

“You don’t want to be reactive to your kids. You want to be thoughtful, and you want to be setting a good example … Sometimes that example is crying in front of them and saying, ‘I’m overwhelmed,’ or ‘I’m sad because of XYZ,’ or ‘I’m just sad because I’m feeling sad. I’m going to let my sad out. And then I’m going to find a way to cheer myself up.’ “

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ON HER HUSBAND DAX SHEPARD’S STRUGGLE WITH ADDICTION

“He’s a wonderful father. He knows the value of things. He was an addict for many, many years and he pulled himself out of it, and he’s been sober for 11, 12 years now … And he knows how many times he’s messed up and how many times he’s been really close to losing everything.”

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ON HITTING ROAD BLOCKS IN THEIR MARRIAGE

“Our relationship wasn’t perfect. We had a couple years of fighting and of growing pains and hating each other, then loving each other and going to couples therapy and we worked it out … We earned each other.”

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ON SEEING THE WORLD THROUGH SHEPARD’S EYES

“Seeing the world through his eyes has really opened mine to knowing that [alcoholism] is a disease and nobody is choosing to drink more than others. They are doing it because of a variety of reasons and they deserve the attention of a mental health professional, and not the county jail or however else we’re choosing to pretend we’re fixing the problem.”

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ON HAVING A LOW-KEY WEDDING

“I don’t fault anyone who wants a big day – especially girls. [But] we get more than enough attention in our everyday lives. I also wear more than enough party dresses.”

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ON PUTTING FAMILY ABOVE ALL ELSE

“I always think, if I’m on my deathbed, what am I gonna be thinking about? And it won’t be some random movie I participated in, or some TV show. It will be my family.”

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ON RAISING HER TWO DAUGHTERS, LINCOLN AND DELTA, TO BE COMPASSIONATE

“I am trying to teach my kids not be stunted by country lines, language barriers, or religious boundaries. And that all human beings, and everyone in the world is part of someone’s family and they should be treated as such. It’s so simple to get caught up in lines that divide us. Why are you different? I think it’s important to remind ourselves that we are all the same and everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.”

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ON APPRECIATING HOW LUCKY SHE IS

“I don’t deserve to be here. I worked hard, but I was also in the right place at the right time. And I’m really, really grateful for the jobs that I’ve had.”

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ON BEING ‘SECRETLY GENEROUS’

“I think it’s actually more fun to be secretly generous because if you go to a restaurant and you’re like, ‘I’m going to slip this person 200 bucks. I’m going to do it.’ I don’t want them to see because when I leave the restaurant, I feel giddy because I feel like a secret superhero. Try it … What’s even cooler is when they don’t know where it comes from.”

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ON STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION

“I felt plagued with a negative attitude and a sense that I was permanently in the shade. I’m normally such a bubbly, positive person, and all of a sudden I stopped feeling like myself.”

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ON ‘LEADING WITH KINDNESS’

“I shatter a little bit when I think people don’t like me. That’s part of why I lead with kindness and I compensate by being very bubbly all the time because it really hurts my feelings when I know I’m not liked. And I know that’s not very healthy and I fight it all the time.”

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ON CHOOSING TO COME FORWARD WITH HER STRUGGLE

“It’s important for me to be candid about this so people in a similar situation can realize that they are not worthless and that they do have something to offer.”

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