The Bachelor's Tammy Ly Addresses 'Negative Noise' After Women Tell All: 'I'm Not a Bully'03/04/2020
After a conversation about online harassment unfolded during The Bachelor: Women Tell All, Tammy Ly is once again addressing the issue.
During Monday night’s reunion special, Peter Weber‘s eliminated contestants gathered to reflect on the season, which resulted in some heated back-and-forths between the women. In particular, Ly feuded with Kelsey Weier and Mykenna Dorn, and on Tuesday, she addressed the backlash she has been receiving with a lengthy note on Instagram.
“This. Is. Not. Okay,” she began. “My goal was to never hurt anyone. I am a strong woman and I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. I do not want to sugarcoat things and will always say how it is — that’s just who I am. I’m not a bully and I’m sorry if I came across that way. Does anyone argue the ‘right way’ when they’re angry or heated?”
“Sometimes I don’t like to physically show my vulnerability, especially on TV,” she said. “Growing up I fought so hard to never be a victim in my life and to always try to focus on the next positive thing which was incredibly hard to do. I want to be strong. I want to be outspoken. I want to speak up for all of those who don’t get the opportunity. I don’t want to dwell on the past.”
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Ly said her experience with the show has taught her that she needs to “work on being okay with my own emotions,” getting candid about her own hardships over the years, including her parents’ divorce.
“My mom left me after my parents divorce and my dad told me he wasn’t my real dad on my 18th birthday,” she said. “At 19, I dealt with the hardest heartbreaks I’ve ever had to deal with: leaving my baby sisters behind, witnessing a death because of alcoholism, lying to attorneys to keep my alcoholic boyfriend out of trouble, my old roommate was a drug addict, my baby sister being hospitalized for an attempt at suicide. All things that hurt so badly and things I blamed myself for for so long.”
“I don’t regret any of those experiences because it made me the STRONG, thick skinned person I am today,” she continued. “I am not telling you these things for you to feel sorry for me, I’m telling you these things because I feel like you need to get a better understanding of my past and why I am the person I am today, and still learning to be.”
Ly, who also shared screenshots of hateful and threatening messages she had received, concluded her note by thanking those in her corner.
“Normally all this negative noise doesn’t bother me but coming at me at this volume is a whole new level,” she said. “You may not understand me but just remember, I am only human and I do have feelings. Thank you to those who have continued to show support through this journey, I appreciate you <3.”
During the Women Tell All, Ly, 24, tangled with Weier, 28, and Dorn, 22, over conflicts that began early on this season.
Ly accused Dorn of using the show to build her brand and called her out for dancing “like a buffoon in front of the cameras.” Dorn fought back, suggesting that Ly learn to “treat people with more love and kindness.”
Weier confronted Ly for accusing her of “drinking excessively” on the show.
“You claiming that I am emotionally unstable, [that I had a] mental breakdown and alcoholic tendencies — it is a strong accusation to make against somebody,” she said. “By you putting that out there, now I am labeled as something that I’m not, and it’s also very rude to the people that do go through those diseases that may watch this show that feel belittled and feel ashamed for the disease that they have. And I’m not okay with that.”
Ly, however, insisted that she was “coming from a place of concern.”
“I recognize you as a human being and it’s not okay for you to do that,” she said. “I saw it was a red flag because it wasn’t the first time, so I brought it to Peter. And it is my business — I’m sorry, but we are all swapping saliva with the same guy. It is my business.”
The two-night live finale of The Bachelor airs next Monday and Tuesday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC. Share your thoughts on this season in PEOPLE’s exclusive Facebook group for fans of the franchise.
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